the break up

so its offically official. me and Lasaan our no longer a couple. i know we aren't because i feel like something is missing in my life, like ive been robbed of complete happiness. i could have been alright, i was use to this, but he tricked me, showed me the other side, and now i can't go back to what i use to be, i hated her, she was lonely, unhappy, and depressed. i used him as a crutch i think and now im left to go on on my own , im barely making it. why shouldi be crying? why should i be sad? its for the best he wasn't giving me 100% yet, im the one thats sad and he will go one with his life, its not fair at all. you can never win, either way you always end up getting hurt, all the talk in the world won't make me feel any better. im still in love with him, and it gives me an empty feeling inside, he is going to tell the other girls all about me, and i cant handle that :(

the ruts

i have these times when im really sad but i feel abpout it becauss i have no reason to be sad, people have way worse lives, so why cant i just saty positive. im messing stuff p, and i need to stop but i cant being sad. i need to stop, positive thoughts... i ruined alot and now i cant blame anyone but myself, i felt it that day.. he let me go... i feel things and know its gonna be bad... and now im alone again... i can feel it.

boyfriend :)

i am in love with my boyfriend, i know this now because i am starting to get scared... ok maybe that doesn't make since, but i just know its real. i saw him on new years eve, and i saw how what i did affected him.. i hurt his feelings... and i felt terrible about it :( i think i love him too much. i dont want to let go of him.. i want to marry him, i want him to be in my life forever :))

new years eve

i have been through alot in 2009!!! and i can't wait for a new year!!
me and the "boyfriend" are going through alot. i love him but i need him to get an effin clue!!!
and college is working out just fine for me. im excited to go back to school, and i'm excited about next year and looking for my OWN place to live where i pay the bills, nice!!!! :D
i need a car and a job!!
i'm really excited, i have a positive outlook on life

FINALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finals are next week omg! i can't believe i fiinished a semester of college!? am i growing up or what?! lol i am excited to come home? maybe i can see Lasaan (boyfriend) but it might not go so well, last time i came home he was being a total douche, ugh, maybe this time will be better. AND my mom is going out of town super YAY! i am really excited! i have so may people to catch up with! not reall, i guess i'm just a girl of means lol

WTF...!!!

i fail to understand why i cant keep too a blog lol
well, since my last post my life has been pretty out there. i have a boyfriend,(omg! its what you've always wanted) but now there are problems( yeah, i didnt think about those) i guess i was sick of people not really wanting me so much i jumped at the first chance to be "cuffed" and i'm worried we arent right for eachother. but i gues sthats not right, at first he did everything right, but i went to college, he started school, and evetytihng just started sucking. :
i'm at Western now and i remember beign so excited and having shay come up here with me, i don't even talk to her and we live in the same dorm, infact, we arent even friends anymore, isnt that sad? well you cant help it if people change i remain he same Cori
i aht this white chick named Alyssa as my roomate but there were some problems, so i kcicked her out and now Adriane (Cass) is my roomie. i remember i use to be jealous of her, but now she is like my best friend. and it wasn't a hater type jealousy, it was more of a , " can't i be like that too?" jealousy.
Me and Veronica are inserprable now, who would have thought? its actually so wierd how it happened but with friendship, sometimes you just click with a person, no matter how different you are.

in my classes i am doing really well, i make it too them when i can lol
i had japanese and was really excited, but it was the only class i was doing bad in so i dropped it. my mom flipped a shit but i didn't care, i hated going to that class!
i got a new phone too!!! :D
now that i think about it, i did kinda change, but its for the better. i'm working on being a nice,sweet person, i doubt i'll get far.
and like always theres this guy :3 but idk whats going on with it some i'm not going to devulge any details just yet. i'll wait until it deserves its very own post.

March 13

this is my first blog entry!

i am really just not feeling anything anymore.
i think its depression but, i have nothing to be depressed about... or i do but i won't allow myself to be depressed about it because that makes me seem shallow...
i think its boredom... which might be a new factor of depression lol

i wish i had someone to complain about instead of something... wait that makes no sense...

i feel like life is just something you are suppose to do and because i don't do anything i sit and think... which doesn't help me action helps me!

i use to say on a regular basis how much i wanted a boyfriend... but i don't do anything about it

i wanted to learn how to drive but, i did nothing about it

see where i'm going?
i am going to start being more proactive with my life and DO! because doing gets stuff done!