the ruts

i have these times when im really sad but i feel abpout it becauss i have no reason to be sad, people have way worse lives, so why cant i just saty positive. im messing stuff p, and i need to stop but i cant being sad. i need to stop, positive thoughts... i ruined alot and now i cant blame anyone but myself, i felt it that day.. he let me go... i feel things and know its gonna be bad... and now im alone again... i can feel it.